His name was Jackson.
It's been 2 months now.
I can't even describe the emptiness I feel.
I miss pressing my cheek into the soft fur on the top of his head when I hugged him.
He hated looking at the camera and I'm pretty sure he hated modeling my crochet projects too, but he did it anyway because he loved me.
He was so proud of his yellow felted necklace. He was right there beside me when I made it for him.
His claws were always a little too long because he hated having them trimmed and he hated a bath even more. I had to cover the wall of the shower with chipped ham just to get him in there.
I held onto him for a month longer than I should have, feeding him pain medicine twice a day.
I knew I was being selfish, but the thought of letting him go was killing me.
I miss his bowl of water on the porch.
I miss his bed in the corner and his basket of toys.
I miss our walks together.
I miss him hogging the couch and
the look he gave me when I made him wear a hat.
I miss his long yoga toes and how they smelled like popcorn and socks.
There's a huge hole in my life now. My days are so quiet.
I've found some comfort in knowing that my boy isn't suffering any more, but my heart is broken.
I was lucky to have him with me for over 10 years.
The memories of those 10 years will live in my heart forever.
Karen
Oh, how I feel your pain and wish it just didn't hurt so bad. We lost Dusty the Trail Dog last August and still talk to him and about him every day. My tiny one is pushing the outer limits of her life with us, and I dread the day she breathes her last. There truly is no greater loss than the unconditional love of a great dog! BTW, I was just thinking about you yesterday and wondering when you'd post again.
ReplyDelete..and so I came apon your sad post , nearly a month later ....and I know that you will still be feeling very sad . I too have been through this .Some people can not understand the grieving , but , you have lost an important family member..it is like losing a child . You gave him a wonderful life ...remember the good times ..hugs Debbie x
ReplyDeleteKaren, I`m sorry I only see this now,- -it is always so sad to lose a loved friend, and that is just what Jackson was, to you, I`m sure, a most wonderful and loving friend, dear.
ReplyDeleteHe will be in your heart forever, and there will always be empty , after him, but you have all the lovely memories, and I hope you can drag them from your mind, when missing him , too much !
Hugs, from Dorthe
What a beautiful post for Jackson, you've brought me to tears. I've lost so many dear pets over the years and each lose is so very painful. I'm so very sorry, but he will be forever in your heart.
ReplyDelete